Immersing Your Kids in Sticky Faith

Did you know that 40-50% of teenagers drift from the church and God within 18 months of graduation? 80% of those kids had all intentions to stick to their faith. And only 50% return to faith after they get married and have kids of their own. These were some facts laid out for us at MOPS by speaker Kara Powell. Dr. Powell is a faculty member at the School of Theology at Fuller, and the director of the Fuller Youth Institute (FYI). One of FYI's missions is to find ways to keep faith sticking, making it last.

How can you be more intentional with developing sticky faith in your home? FYI has found that what helps grow faith in children is involvement in intergenerational services and worship. Many times church ministries are separate, with one adult teaching several children about faith. FYI recommends a new 5 to 1 ratio - 5 adults investing in one child. To get faith to stick, a child needs to have five adults who know that child's name and pray for him, who that child can go to in times of need. Parents need to be more intentional in their friendships in order to invest in their kids' faith. "Intergenerational relationships are a little more messy, but worth it," says Dr. Powell.

She suggested several ideas to create your 5:1 group. Look for friends or extended family, leverage adults who already care about your child (teachers, coaches, etc.), and ask your child who she/he likes.

Other ways to create sticky faith:

• Share your own faith (without lecturing). "Share organically and naturally about what God is doing in your life."
• Create a family Highs and Lows game at the dinner table, where each person tells of the high point of their day and the low point. Ask your children, "How did you see God working today?" It's okay if they don't have an answer. They will still hear their parents talking daily about how they see God.
• Ask your child to pray for you, or with you.
• Invite your kids into the spirituality that you already have. For example, start a prayer journal with your child(ren)'s name on top of the page, and tell your kids so they know that you are praying for them.

Some of our MOPS moms had great questions for Dr. Powell. One mom asked how can you help your child keep faith going once he is older and living outside the home? Dr. Powell recommended texting your kid to let him know that you are praying for him. Check back to see what happened after you prayed for him.

Another mom ask if you should share your doubts, or admit if you strayed from Faith in your past. She was afraid that the information may give your child license to stray too. Dr. Powell noted that it was a difficult question to answer, but one thing you can do is ask your close friends for their opinons. Overall, FYI has found that parents and children benefit in faith when sharing more.

Many more helpful tips and answers to questions about Sticky Faith can be found in Dr. Powell's book, Sticky Faith, co-written with Brad M. Griffin and Cheryl A. Crawford, PhD. You can also find more
information at http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/tag/stickyfaith/.

At this MOPS meeting, as with every meeting, we played a couple of Minute to Win It games. This time Meredith's table won Ping Pong Tic Tac Toe, and received an offer for a free spray tan from sponsor Amie Hanrahan ($20 value). It's a perfect prize now that Autumn is upon us. Jen Gowen's table scored in a game involving bouncing ping pong balls into a small popcorn tub. They won three free "boot camp" exercise classes from sponsor Dene Shulze-Alva (a $30 value). They've gotta keep those ping-pong-throwing arms in shape!

Our Prayer & Care coordinator Krys then introduced Catherine Budincich, a long-term volunteer at Elizabeth House. Catherine explained that Elizabeth House takes in eight pregnant, unwed moms at a time, and prepares them for motherhood and life. The moms are given parenting and counseling classes. Elizabeth House also helps the moms with getting their diplomas, jobs and transitional housing. The moms are also offered bible study and cooking classes, and given a Mentor Mom to help them during pregnancy. This year, PazNaz MOPS will help Elizabeth House in providing one of their moms with a baby shower. MOPS moms can donate a baby shower gift, and are also invited to attend the shower. Please see Upcoming Events for more information.

Krys also wants to remind MOPS moms to turn in their Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes at our next meeting on November 4th. Please don't forget to include $7 for shipping! Please see Upcoming Events for more information.

Also at our November 4th meeting, Kathy Larson will be telling us ways to discuss the Birds & the Bees with our kids. Kathy is an RN who also teaches health classes to middle school students in several public and private schools in the San Gabriel Valley. See you at next MOPS!

Multi-tasking moms listening and rocking their little ones!

PazNaz MOPS Mentors Share their Wisdom

The ladies of PazNaz MOPS met again on October 7th.  We had fun with some new Minute-To-Win-It games, crafted our family placemats, and welcomed our Mentor Moms as they shared some helpful tips and advice.  What a great way to get to know our cherished seasoned mothers, and to glean some of the wisdom that they shared with us that morning on the Mentor Mom Panel.

Barbara introduced herself first, said she was married 45 years and then stated, "And we've never had a fight!" She then laughed.  Her advice to how to keep a marriage strong is to keep working on it.  Barbara said long-term counseling has benefited her marriage, and that after 45 years, she is still learning new things about her husband.  She says one of the great things is that she and her husband still want to learn about each other.  They have one daughter and two lovely grandsons.

Rita has been married for 39 years, and has a daughter and a son.  She said it is important to instill faith in your family.  She said to start to plant faith "seeds", and it will make a difference in the long haul.  When her children were young, she asked them how she could pray for their day.  At the end of the day at dinner, they'd talk about how God showed up in their lives.

Lee has three daughters and has been married for 44 years.  She has 2 granddaughters and one grandson.  She said she's learned from her grandkids that there is a huge difference between boys and girls and that it is "so much fun to see those differences."  Her advice for childrearing is to have fun with your kids because time flies so fast.

Diane, with 4 children and 13 grandchildren, was married for 52 years.  Her secret to a forever marriage: "Give him his way." After much laughter from the audience, Diane continued, "and in the long run, you'll have your way."  She said that it is a different life now than when she was married.  These days, she said, demands on women are harder.  We are responsible for more than the home and the family.

Deanna has been married 22 years and has a teenage son and a 6-year old daughter.  She read from a poem entitled "If You Give a Mom a Muffin" by Kathy Fictorie (a parody of the kids' book "If You Give a Mouse A Cookie").  Then she said, "Here is a bit of what I figured out:  God has given me two precious children.  I say precious, not perfect.  When one day looks awful, the next will be better.  Pick your battles; not everything is a big deal.  If possible, do something for YOU.  Remember the man you married.  Let go of guilt.  Don't let go of who God made you to be.  Pray, pray, pray."

After the introductions, the Mentor Moms answered questions:

What's your advice for keeping a marriage strong?  Rita said keep the romance alive.  That job usually falls on us women.  It is such a gift to your kids to see their parents enjoy being together.  Reconnect at least once a month with your husband.  Lee said that she still has date night with her husband.  He's retired but he spends quite some time in the nursery (plants, not babies).  She chooses her battles with her husband.  For example, he's always been messy but now she's learned to just clean the mess, instead of getting mad.  "I praise god that I have a wonderful Christian husband to pick up after!"  Dale's advice is to remain a little bit of a mystery to your husband.  Let him keep guessing what you're going to do, and that will keep your marriage alive.  Alice, our Mentor Mom Coordinator, said she makes sure she gives her husband some space.  He loves to do his own thing.  She said he's her best friend, and when you're best friends, "you trust each other."

What part of marriage is challenging?  "All of it is challenging!" Barbara answered. "Marriage is hard for men.  They love us and want to please us.  Men live and die on appreciation, so appreciate your husband.  That encourages them."

How do you deal with biting?  This question was answered by visiting mentor mom Dale (our assistant coordinator's mother-in-law).  She recalled that her son bit her finger while she was at the stove tending to boiling water.  She bit his finger back very slowly with increasing pressure, on the nail, just so he would know how it felt.  She told her other kids that they had permission to defend themselves if he bit them, but to not encourage him or they'd be the ones in trouble.  She said she doesn't know if that the politically correct answer, but he never bit anyone again.

How to you keep up with chores?  Deanna said moms have so much on our plates.  What she does each day is to think of what, out of all her errands, is most important to her husband.  And she'll make sure she gets at least that one thing done, because it makes him happy.  She advised our moms to do the best you can and to let go of guilt.

Diane's tips for picky eaters:  "Don't feed them.  When they get hungry, pretty soon the spaghetti looks pretty good."  Alice said she learned this tip from her daughter.  Try to get your child to at least taste something new.  Her daughter encouraged her 5-year-old take 5 bites, one bite for each year, as big (or small) as she wanted, and then she got a treat.

Speaking of treats, our buffet table was chock full of scrumptious casseroles, salads and sweets.  Several of the dishes can be found in our PazNaz MOPS cookbook (P.S. the book is full of easy-to-make recipes contributed by busy moms!).  Thanks, ladies, for bringing the yummy food to MOPS.

We played two new Minute-to-Win-It games this meeting.  First, each table had to try to get as many skittles one-at-a-time into their popcorn bucket using chopsticks.  Those candies are slippery!  Jen's table won with a total of 64 skittles.  The second game involved a stack of index cards atop the popcorn bucket.  The moms had to gently blow off the cards until the last one stood alone.  If the last one flew off, they had to start all over.  Regina's table won that game.  The prizes for this meeting included a coupon for a Fall class sponsored by Deb Prieto's Silly & Sacred Music and Motion program and charming Christmas cards from Amber Baker.  See Sponsors under Pages at the right for more information about all of our sponsors.

Our next MOPS meeting will be held on October 21st.  Kara Powell of the Fuller Youth Institute will talk about Sticky Faith.  We will also have our $1 sale, so please bring in your one dollar bills and your gently-used goods.  These can include housewares, books, knick knacks, accessories and toys.  Please NO clothing other than coats and Halloween costumes.  If possible, please bring your items to Gilmore Hall by 5pm on Thursday, October 20th, or arrive early on Friday morning so that we can organize all the stuff in time for the sale.

One last thing!  At Friday's meeting, our Prayer & Care coordinator Krys gave us information about donating to Operation Christmas Child by Samaritan's Purse.  "Operation Christmas Child demonstrates God's love to hurting children in a tangible way by partnering with churches worldwide to deliver gift-filled shoe boxes and the Good News of Jesus Christ."  You can decide with your table to contribute together for one or two shoeboxes, or you are welcome to fill shoeboxes on your own or with your kids.  The shoeboxes are due back at PazNaz MOPS at our November 4th meeting.  Please note that each shoebox needs a $7 donation or more to cover shipping and handling.  If you have any questions, please ask your DGL or see Krys at our next meeting.

Have a great week, and see you at MOPS on October 21st!

Starting off MOPS with Fun and Games

Welcome back to PazNaz MOPS! It was so exciting to see familiar friends and new faces at our first meeting on September 23rd. We have a fun year in store for you with great upcoming speakers, hilarious Minute to Win It games (with prizes!), and delicious breakfast buffets.

Our first meeting of the year was all about fun and games. We played Minute to Win It, enjoyed speaker Rochelle Siegrist's Simply Fun presentation, and got to know our new table-mates with Simply Fun's Take Your Pick game.

The Minute to Win It games involved a strange combination of Oreos, Ping Pongs and Popcorn Buckets. The Oreo game was a quick win, with former Coordinator Debbie Wong moving an Oreo cookie from her forehead into her mouth without hands in a mere 29 seconds.   The Ping Pong game was just as challenging.  Moms had to orbit their table in twos while holding a Ping Pong ball cheek-to-cheek, and then drop it into a plastic popcorn bucket.  The table with the most Ping Pong balls in the bucket at the end of one minute won the game.  This game's winners were the ladies at Jennifer Gowen's table.  

All of the winners won adorable bow hairclips made by PazNaz MOPS Assistant Coordinator Stephanie Dollahite, one of two sponsor's for this week's games.  Our other sponsor was our in-room baby whisperer, Michele Tully, who offers personal assistance by the hour to stay-at-home moms.  Thank you, Michele and Stephanie, for sponsoring the Minute To Win It game prizes.

Krys Strong, our new Prayer and Care Coordinator, then announced the new babies of PazNaz MOPS. Melissa (DGL) introduced her new daughter Ansley Joy, born on July 19th. Amber showed us new new bundle of joy Asher, who was born on August 6th. And Nicole was blessed with baby Violet on June 18th.

Rochelle Siegrist continued the fun and games theme with her presentation of SimplyFun, an educational board-games company whose mission is to keep parents and children connected through play. Rochelle shocked some of us by stating, "A study shows that kids spend only 30 minutes a week in meaningful conversations with their parents." Yes, thirty minutes a week (not a day). She then challenged our moms to guess what two things distract families from spending time together. Our clever moms had the answers in seconds: TV/Technology and Over-Scheduling. With smartphones and ipads and other very portable objects that allow you to stay digitally connected 24 hours a day, and with transporting your child(ren) from grocery shopping to doctor appointments to preschool to Mommy & Me to soccer (sometimes all in one day!), it's very easy to be disconnected with your children.

Yet it is crucial that parents spend quality time with their children. The American Academy of Pediatrics list nine important skills a child should learn: confidence, competence, deep connections to others, resiliency, honesty, generosity, decency, tenacity and compassion. Ideally, these skills should be learned within a home where adults and children spend time together. How can you teach these skills to your child? SimplyFun encourages families to seek more playful moments with their children, and to do it through play. Rochelle says that play helps you get down to the kids' level and enables you to see where they are in development. In play, especially with board games, kids learn valuable social, academic and emotional skills. These include taking turns, playing fair, winning or losing gracefully, reading, math, numbers and colors, patience, following directions, cooperation and role-play. Rochelle is a firm believer in game play. She suggests that you try to play a game with your kids for 30 minutes every night, or add a Game Night to your weekly schedule. In doing that, you can teach your children valuable life skills and grow closer as a family.

Rochelle and her helper Kim Rausch then passed out Take Your Pick game cards to each MOPS table. These cards had two choices (e.g. "Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?", "Would you prefer to wear the same outfit or eat the same meal for a year?") and moms had to guess which choice their table-mate would make. That game was a wonderful conversation-starter!

The educational games by Simply Fun are not sold in stores. If you are interested in buying, borrowing or hosting a party, please check out Rochelle's letter under the "Pages" header on the right of this webpage for more information. Thank you, Rochelle!

Ladies, don't miss our next meeting on October 7th. Our fabulous Mentor Moms will be answering your questions on the Mentor Mom panel. We will also finish our placemat crafts. (Don't forget your photos!). See you on Friday!