Barbara introduced herself first, said she was married 45 years and then stated, "And we've never had a fight!" She then laughed. Her advice to how to keep a marriage strong is to keep working on it. Barbara said long-term counseling has benefited her marriage, and that after 45 years, she is still learning new things about her husband. She says one of the great things is that she and her husband still want to learn about each other. They have one daughter and two lovely grandsons.
Rita has been married for 39 years, and has a daughter and a son. She said it is important to instill faith in your family. She said to start to plant faith "seeds", and it will make a difference in the long haul. When her children were young, she asked them how she could pray for their day. At the end of the day at dinner, they'd talk about how God showed up in their lives.
Lee has three daughters and has been married for 44 years. She has 2 granddaughters and one grandson. She said she's learned from her grandkids that there is a huge difference between boys and girls and that it is "so much fun to see those differences." Her advice for childrearing is to have fun with your kids because time flies so fast.
Diane, with 4 children and 13 grandchildren, was married for 52 years. Her secret to a forever marriage: "Give him his way." After much laughter from the audience, Diane continued, "and in the long run, you'll have your way." She said that it is a different life now than when she was married. These days, she said, demands on women are harder. We are responsible for more than the home and the family.
Deanna has been married 22 years and has a teenage son and a 6-year old daughter. She read from a poem entitled "If You Give a Mom a Muffin" by Kathy Fictorie (a parody of the kids' book "If You Give a Mouse A Cookie"). Then she said, "Here is a bit of what I figured out: God has given me two precious children. I say precious, not perfect. When one day looks awful, the next will be better. Pick your battles; not everything is a big deal. If possible, do something for YOU. Remember the man you married. Let go of guilt. Don't let go of who God made you to be. Pray, pray, pray."
After the introductions, the Mentor Moms answered questions:
What's your advice for keeping a marriage strong? Rita said keep the romance alive. That job usually falls on us women. It is such a gift to your kids to see their parents enjoy being together. Reconnect at least once a month with your husband. Lee said that she still has date night with her husband. He's retired but he spends quite some time in the nursery (plants, not babies). She chooses her battles with her husband. For example, he's always been messy but now she's learned to just clean the mess, instead of getting mad. "I praise god that I have a wonderful Christian husband to pick up after!" Dale's advice is to remain a little bit of a mystery to your husband. Let him keep guessing what you're going to do, and that will keep your marriage alive. Alice, our Mentor Mom Coordinator, said she makes sure she gives her husband some space. He loves to do his own thing. She said he's her best friend, and when you're best friends, "you trust each other."
What part of marriage is challenging? "All of it is challenging!" Barbara answered. "Marriage is hard for men. They love us and want to please us. Men live and die on appreciation, so appreciate your husband. That encourages them."
How do you deal with biting? This question was answered by visiting mentor mom Dale (our assistant coordinator's mother-in-law). She recalled that her son bit her finger while she was at the stove tending to boiling water. She bit his finger back very slowly with increasing pressure, on the nail, just so he would know how it felt. She told her other kids that they had permission to defend themselves if he bit them, but to not encourage him or they'd be the ones in trouble. She said she doesn't know if that the politically correct answer, but he never bit anyone again.
How to you keep up with chores? Deanna said moms have so much on our plates. What she does each day is to think of what, out of all her errands, is most important to her husband. And she'll make sure she gets at least that one thing done, because it makes him happy. She advised our moms to do the best you can and to let go of guilt.
Diane's tips for picky eaters: "Don't feed them. When they get hungry, pretty soon the spaghetti looks pretty good." Alice said she learned this tip from her daughter. Try to get your child to at least taste something new. Her daughter encouraged her 5-year-old take 5 bites, one bite for each year, as big (or small) as she wanted, and then she got a treat.
Speaking of treats, our buffet table was chock full of scrumptious casseroles, salads and sweets. Several of the dishes can be found in our PazNaz MOPS cookbook (P.S. the book is full of easy-to-make recipes contributed by busy moms!). Thanks, ladies, for bringing the yummy food to MOPS.
We played two new Minute-to-Win-It games this meeting. First, each table had to try to get as many skittles one-at-a-time into their popcorn bucket using chopsticks. Those candies are slippery! Jen's table won with a total of 64 skittles. The second game involved a stack of index cards atop the popcorn bucket. The moms had to gently blow off the cards until the last one stood alone. If the last one flew off, they had to start all over. Regina's table won that game. The prizes for this meeting included a coupon for a Fall class sponsored by Deb Prieto's Silly & Sacred Music and Motion program and charming Christmas cards from Amber Baker. See Sponsors under Pages at the right for more information about all of our sponsors.
Our next MOPS meeting will be held on October 21st. Kara Powell of the Fuller Youth Institute will talk about Sticky Faith. We will also have our $1 sale, so please bring in your one dollar bills and your gently-used goods. These can include housewares, books, knick knacks, accessories and toys. Please NO clothing other than coats and Halloween costumes. If possible, please bring your items to Gilmore Hall by 5pm on Thursday, October 20th, or arrive early on Friday morning so that we can organize all the stuff in time for the sale.
One last thing! At Friday's meeting, our Prayer & Care coordinator Krys gave us information about donating to Operation Christmas Child by Samaritan's Purse. "Operation Christmas Child demonstrates God's love to hurting children in a tangible way by partnering with churches worldwide to deliver gift-filled shoe boxes and the Good News of Jesus Christ." You can decide with your table to contribute together for one or two shoeboxes, or you are welcome to fill shoeboxes on your own or with your kids. The shoeboxes are due back at PazNaz MOPS at our November 4th meeting. Please note that each shoebox needs a $7 donation or more to cover shipping and handling. If you have any questions, please ask your DGL or see Krys at our next meeting.
Have a great week, and see you at MOPS on October 21st!
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