Our all-male panel consisted of Keegan Lenker (our coordinator's significant other), Bud Weatherby (Mentor Mom Rosie's hubby), John Fong (our MOP Lyda's husband), and Joe Whitcomb, the onsite marriage counselor at PazNaz. Moms asked these guys pertinent questions about parenting, and got the male perspective of family, parenthood, and discipline. Some examples follow:
How do you balance household responsibilities?
In one home, the shopping is done by the husband and done as much as possible to help at home. One couple sets up a chore score and decide mutually who does what. A score is set for each chore based on how long each chore should take. Then the couple splits the chores so that each has the same total score for the week. Another family bases their chores on personality differences, and divides the labor accordingly. Talk to each other about what your needs are rather than criticizing each other, and go from there.
What does a man need to hear in order to feel he have his wife's support and encouragement?
The dads brought up the Five Love Languages, written by Gary Chapman. The five languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Acts of Service. They explain how a particular person expresses love and what actions make him/her feel loved. A couple should discover what each other's top two love languages are and try to speak each other's love languages.
When is a good time to talk about issues or problems?
Schedule a specific time to connect to your spouse, instead of confronting him/her unexpectedly.
How to you bridge the gap between parenting styles?
Talk about it at a good time. Listen, understand, and validate your spouse's perspective. Remember that you are partners; where your spouse lacks, you can pick up and vice-versa.
What bothers you most at the end of the weekend?
Being busy, but not being able to actually spend quality family time. Too many things, like birthday parties, to go to during weekends. Too many sports, schedules too much pressure.
How do you make more quality time in your lives?
Try to do one sport or activity at a time for the kids. Have a family meeting once a week where you talk as a family, and state your highs and lows of the week, speak an affirmation to each family member ("I appreciate that you..."), play a game, and end your meeting in prayer. Another way to have quality time, is to make sure that Mom and Dad each have some time to him/herself during the week.
We will focus on women's health issues at our next MOPS meeting on March 16. Our speakers for the day will be Dr. AnaMaria McElrath-Garza, who will talk to us about colorectal health; and Margo Minissian, a nurse at the Women's Heart Center at Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute and an assistant clinical professor at UCLA School of Nursing, who will discuss heart health for women.
No comments:
Post a Comment